Cross-Country Surprise

On Saturday, Nov. 4, my two brothers, my sister and I pulled off a huge surprise party for our parents. They both retired in 2006 and August saw their 45th wedding anniversary, so it was a year of milestones. Unfortuntately, Mom also had to have back surgery in the spring, so any kind of celebration was put on ice.

After many cross-country calls and countless e-mails, we four kids decided to surprise them with a fall party. They thought they were going to a birthday party for my sister's mother-in-law at her home in a nearby town in New York. When they arrived, the house was filled with family and friends, including some very long-time friends going back to high school and even grammar school. It was such a complete surprise, in fact, that they were actually confused at first as to why we were all there! "What are we celebrating?" Dad asked, genuinely unsure. I stepped forward and gave Mom a hug and a kiss and said, "We did notice that you both retired this year." It was a very successful surprise and a wonderful evening.

Gifts are always an issue at a party like this. What do you give a couple who has everything they really need, and, in fact, should probably be purging "stuff" at this point in their lives? So in our invitation we asked people to consider digging through their old photo albums and finding a picture from a significant or even just funny moment in our parents' last 45 years together [preferably a shot that they wouldn't likely have in their own albums]. And put it in a frame for them. Well, this idea worked out very well, with each new gift they opened inspiring memories and, sometimes, funny stories. At the end of the night they went home with many treasured memories framed and ready for display.

Pictured here is the cake we ordered from a very fancy-pants bakery in nearby Chappaqua. It was beautiful and divinely delicious. I'm not sure, but there might have been a little butter in it. We had food from their favorite restaurants (Chinese appetizers and Italian main course), and for dessert -- in addition to the cake -- we ordered fudge from Murdick's, a favorite treat from Martha's Vineyard summers in the 1970s and '80s, and an old friend brought cannoli from the Bronx. The real deal. It was, perhaps, an odd menu, but one that was highly personal and reflected their past 45 years together.

All in all, the party was a great success. Our parents have given so much to us over the years, it felt good to plan something that let them know how important they are to us.